To Sir With Love

I was flipping thro' the old album last night when adik asked .. who's that man ????
well, that was my professor, my mentor and someone whom i admired. the late Professor Sir Harry. Sir Harry would addressed everyone, from the tea lady to the most senior consultant surgeon as a 'professor'. Of course, i was shock when he greeted me ..'morning professor', on my very first day when i reported for duty as a medical office in his department. needless to say, though i had to work long hours, not a moment had i complained. i really enjoyed working under this great man. a man who had such a great sense of humour. remembering him triggers my gray matter to some of the jokes that we shared.

1. a man in his 50's was admitted to the ward with severe epigastric and lower chest pain. having clerked and examined him, i presented my findings to Sir Harry who was doing his evening teaching rounds with some postgraduate students. looking at me he asked .. professor, what was your differential diagnosis ? and what investigations would you do to support your diagnosis ? showing him the ECG (electrocardiography) tracing, i told him that the gentleman was suffering from acute myocardial infarction (heart attack) and that the medical officer at the accident and emergency department had wrongly diagnosed and admitted him to our surgical ward. the ECG tracing showed classical 'ST elevation' in all leads. picking up the ECG strip and glancing thro' for 2 minutes, he looked at me and his postgraduate students, he said .... very well professor, .... in the eyes of a surgeon, all ECG's look alike!. even a first year medical student would be able to diagnose a heart attack just by looking at the typical ECG pattern of elevated ST segments. the moral of the story is ,.. don't trust a surgeon when it comes to your heart.

2. there was this indian gentleman who was warded for melena (passing out of loose foul smelling stool mixed with stale blood). during the morning round, Sir Harry turned to me and said ..'professor, would you do a per rectal examination (sticking up one's finger into his anus to determine the progress and colour of the stool) on this gentleman now' . having done the procedure, the gentleman, visibly annoyed by now, looked up at us and has this to say 'apa pasal hari hari pun ada mahu jolok. awak semua ingat in buntut gomen punya ka ??

3. on hearing the code blue message, i rushed to the ward. there Sir Harry and a few other medical personals were ressusitating a patient who developed sudden heart attack following a surgery to remove his gall stones. following defibrillation, the heart rhythm was not in a synchronised state. turning to dr. gurcharan singh (a newly qualified doctor) he shouted ..."professor, get me the verapamil" ( verapamil was the drug use to resynchronise the heart beat). after 5 minutes Sir Harry shouted again ....where is the bloody damned verapamil ???. but dr. gurcharan was no where to be seen. he appeared after 30 minutes. looking very exhausted and gasping for breath, he handed it to Sir Harry. my god, what the hell you bringing this for, lamented Sir Harry. i'm asking for a verapamil and not a burial permit (an official notification form to document the cause of death before one can bury the dead). pity dr. gurcharan, he must have rushed down to the mortury to get the burial permit. well, to cut the story short, the patient indeed required the burial permit.

4. a middle age chinese lady saw Sir Harry in the surgical out patient clinic complaining of constipation (passing hard stool). as Sir Harry does not speak bahasa, he called me to translate. 'well, Ah Soh, saya kasi ini ubat (dulcolax suppository), masuk sana bawah, lepas tu najis mesti jadi lembut, kemudian baru senang pangsai', i explained to her. a week latter she came back to see Sir Harry who then instructed me to handle her case. the lady said ' saya sudah masuk itu ubat sana bawah, tapi apa pasal lagi tak senang pangsai ?'. i was a bit puzzled, usually the dulcolax suppository works very well. trying to solve her problem, i asked her again . 'Ah Soh, awak tunjuk saya macam mana awak masuk itu ubat !'. and this was what she has to say " hari itu awak cakap mahu masuk itu ubat sana bawah . jadi saya sudah buka itu ubat punya plastik, kemudian saya masuk sana bawahlah, dalam itu toilet bowl " i can't help laughing. no wonder it does not work. the suppository was supposed to be inserted into her anus and not into the toilet bowl.

To Professor Sir Harry,
Thank you for your guidance, trust and encouragement. Do rest in peace !